No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize