Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
