I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
