it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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