You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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