I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
