Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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