Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just googled if crying burns calories
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
