is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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