ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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