Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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