ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
