girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
