a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
