This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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