how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Randomize
