I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
They are going to name an STD after you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
