Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament