I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.