So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
