What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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