Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
