She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
