Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
