I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
