Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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