found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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