Non-Jews are for practice
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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