i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Randomize