Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i drank out of a bidet.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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