Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
