I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
