Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
