dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Houston, we have a blender
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
