Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We got so high we made milksteak
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
