if i died would you start the facebook group?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
