I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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