There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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