Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I wish I only lived at night.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
