Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
