I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You dont lie about slip and slides
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
