i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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