doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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