My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
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I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
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Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My bed smells like the plague
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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