I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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