I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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