you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
as a side note pls kill me
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
