yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
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Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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