My room smells like vodka and shame
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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