dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
