Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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