sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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