Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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