I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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