Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
