Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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