Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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