woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize