# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
