He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
