Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
