dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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