I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
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I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
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I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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