I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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