allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
