My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
