A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
